What to do When Death Occurs

When a death occurs in your family, you will be faced with important tasks and decision-making during a very difficult time. You may not know what to do or when to begin making arrangements, and bearing the responsibility can be overwhelming. Remember that you are not alone. Claybar Funeral Homes is available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year to assist you with the details and offer our guidance. We have compiled the following list to help guide you through the steps you will need to take when a death has occurred. Your funeral director will help coordinate all of the details when you meet for an arrangement conference. 
If the death occurs outside of Texas, you should call Claybar. We can coordinate with a local funeral director at the place of death.

* What is the full name of the deceased? 

* What is the location of the deceased (Hospital, Nursing Facility or Residence)? 

* What is your name, address and telephone number? 

* What is the name, address and phone number of the next-of-kin? 

* Is there a pre-arranged funeral plan? (If yes, what is the plan name or number?) 

We will then set an appointment time for you to come to the funeral home to complete the details of the funeral arrangement. We will ask you to bring in some items and information that will be necessary to complete the arrangement. These items will include: 

* Clothing for the deceased. 

* Social security number of the deceased. 

* The deceased's birth date and city and state of birth. 

* The deceased's parents names, including mother's maiden name. 

* Information about the deceased's education. 

* Marital status of the deceased. 

* Veteran's discharge papers or Claim Number. 

* A recent photograph of the deceased. 

* Pre-arrangement paperwork (if applicable). 

* Cemetery lot information (if applicable). 

2. Contact your clergy. Decide on a time and place for the funeral or memorial service (the services may be held at the funeral home). 

3. The funeral home will assist you in determining the number of copies of the death certificates that you will need and will order them for you. 

4. Make a list of family, friends and business colleagues, and notify each by phone. You may wish to use a "branching" system: make a few phone calls to other relatives or friends and ask each of them to make a phone call or two to specific people. 

5. Decide on an appropriate charity to which gifts may be made (church, hospice, library, organization, school). 

6. Gather obituary information, including a photo, age, place of birth, cause of death, occupation, college degrees, memberships held, military service, outstanding work and a list of survivors in the immediate family. Include the time and place of the funeral services. The funeral home will usually write the obituary and submit it to the newspaper(s). 

7. Arrange for family members and/or close friends to take turns answering the door or phone. Keeping a careful record of visitors and flower deliveries will make it easier to thank people later on. 

8. If Social Security checks are deposited automatically, notify the bank of the death. 

9. Coordinate the food supply in your home for the next several days. 

10. Delegate special needs of the household, such as cleaning, food preparation, etc., to friends and family who offer their help. 

11. Arrange for child care, if necessary. 

12. Arrange hospitality for visiting relatives and friends. 

13. Select pallbearers and notify the funeral home. (People with heart or back difficulties may be named honorary pallbearers). 

14. Plan for the disposition of flowers after the funeral (to a church, hospital or rest home). 

15. Prepare a list of distant friends and relatives to be notified by letter and/or printed notice. 

16. Prepare a list of people to receive acknowledgments of flowers, calls, etc. Send appropriate acknowledgments, which may be a written note, printed acknowledgments, or both. Include "thank yous" to those who have given their time, as well. 

17. Notify insurance companies of the death. 

18. Locate the will and notify the lawyer and executor. 

19. Carefully check all life and casualty insurance and death benefits, including Social Security, credit union, trade union, fraternal, and military. Check on possible income for survivors from these sources. 

20. Check promptly on all debts and installment payments, including credit cards. Some may carry insurance clauses that will cancel them. If there is to be a delay in meeting payments, consult with creditors and ask for more time before the payments are due. 

21. If the deceased was living alone, notify the utility companies and landlord and tell the post office where to send the mail. 

22. Your Funeral Director will notify the Social Security Office.  This will alert them that the death has occured.  Your director will provide you with information regarding the social security death benefit along with a phone number to the Social Security Office

During the Funeral Service 

Although the funeral service is designed to honor the life of the deceased, it is also a time when survivors begin to deal with the reality of the loss. During the time that constitutes the formal funeral service, a family may wish to consider the following suggestions: 

* Share feelings and memories with family and friends. 

* Include children in the funeral service. 

* Be patient and take things slowly. 

* Allow extra time to get ready for each event. 

* Get as much rest as possible. 

* Try to eat balanced meals. 

* Select helpful reading materials and videos from the Claybar Funeral Home Library. 

Acknowledgment Etiquette 

The following suggestions are provided for acknowledging those who took part in the funeral service and expressed their sympathy. Within two weeks of the funeral: 

* Send a personal note to the clergy thanking them for their help. If a gratuity is offered, it may be included with the note. 

* Send a note to the pallbearers and friends who volunteered services, sent flowers, made offerings, contributed memorials, gave money, or provided food. 

* Reply to letters and telegrams with a brief note. Sympathy cards do not require a reply. 

After the Funeral 

The process of grieving and adjustment continues for a long period after the funeral ceremony. There will be challenges and adjustments for the survivors in the days and weeks after the funeral. Several suggestions that may help the adjustment process include: 

* Inquire about bereavement services and support groups. 

* Make necessary changes to bank, charge, investment, and mortgage accounts. 

* Update insurance policies. 

* Update personal property and motor vehicle records. 

* Update your will. 

* Consider prearranging and pre-funding your funeral. 

* Be alert to people who may try to defraud you during your recovery period. 

* Postpone making important decisions for at least a year, if possible. 

* Understand that life is a series of changes and that death is one of the most difficult.  Allow plenty of time and opportunity to express grief. 

Estate Settlement 

Almost everyone needs a Will.  Upon a death, the Will must be probated and the estate administered. The Will is formally offered in court; the personal representative is approved by the court; estate inventory is prepared and filed; debts and taxes are recognized and paid; and finally the representative files his or her account and requests that estate assets be transferred to the designated beneficiaries. This takes time and requires the services of an attorney. 

If there is no will at the time of death, the procedure is the same except the Court will make many of the critical decisions. 

Financial Benefits 

Listed below are possible sources of financial assistance that a family may want to investigate. 

* Family savings 

* Pre-funded trusts or funeral plans 

* Insurance policies: life, health, accident 

* Social Security 

* Veterans Administration 

* Employer or union pension funds